LEA WEST

This prompt is interesting. I don’t really have the negative self-talk that’s expected. I used to, but now it’s silence. I’ve gotten to the point of neglect on all levels.

When I do have any internal murmurs, it’s along the lines of what I don’t have.

“A smaller body wouldn’t struggle so much.”

“Someone with less weight wouldn’t have this much difficulty.”

“This even is more enjoyable for those closer to the shape they should be.”

So, what does this reveal about me? First, the perception that people in better health don’t struggle and enjoy their lives more.

There is some level of truth to that – they don’t struggle with tying their shoes, but they do have the same struggles that life provides.

I tend to be detached from these thoughts since I’m not thinking directly about myself when they occur. But if I burrow down into the implied meanings; they are and I’m not.

I think it’s important to note that I am not being hard on myself and holding an expectation of social standards of beauty – I simply want to not struggle so much. I want to be able to move and not feel how much of a disappointment I’ve let my body become.

**This is part of a series that uses “beautiful you – a daily guide to Radical Self-Acceptance” by Rosie Molinary as a model for prompts to look inward. Here’s why.**